Hi there! I have a similar problem but the issue seems to have a different cause (the relay and block producer have been syncing for around 24hours) but the CPU consumption may be why i struggle to get a SSH connection every now and then.
:~/cardano-my-node$ which cardano-node
/usr/local/bin/cardano-node
~/cardano-my-node$ cd /home/cardano/.cabal/bin/
-bash: cd: /home/cardano/.cabal/bin/: No such file or directory
/usr/local/bin$ ls
cardano-cli cardano-node
PID USER PR NI VIRT RES SHR S %CPU %MEM TIME+ COMMAND
715203 ubuntu 20 0 257.1g 7.5g 57052 S 172.1 48.3 44:17.99 cardano-node
197 root 19 -1 361868 219084 217780 S 0.3 1.4 17:31.39 systemd-journal
1 root 20 0 104764 10528 7000 S 0.0 0.1 0:06.61 systemd
Any help would be greatly appreciated:) Im just starting out in the world of stake pool operation and am impressed and slightly overwhelmed by the amount of resources